Thursday, May 8, 2014

The Great Goat Herd of the Small Abbey of Secret Wisdom--Part 8

“Look, Holdfast, much as it pains me to be the practical one…” began Faileuba.

“How much?” asked Meliadus. “Are we talking about physical suffering or, just mental anguish?”

Faileuba thought it over. “More irritation,” she stated. “Anyway--we need this job. And I am hardly a fan of the Faith--hells, I robbed the Great Abbey of Secret Wisdom!”

“I KNEW it!” declared Gwydd. “I knew it the moment you started describing those solid gold headdresses.”

“Yeah, yeah, what can I say, I’m predictable,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Well, predictably greedy and crooked,” said Gwydd.

Faileuba crossed her arms. “Hey--Abbé Ulfius is very bad, and unchivalrous. The tenants on the Great Abbey’s lands suffer terribly.” She pointed at Gwydd. “He deserved to get robbed.”

“And I suppose you gave the money to the poor,” said the Goblin with a snort.

“Well, as I was poor, yes, yes, I did,” answered Faileuba. She frowned slightly. “And, what with my gambling and drinking habits, rest assured the money all went back to the community in a very short order. Well, with that and my partners backstabbing me.” She sighed and shook her head. “Yeah, that one didn’t turn out so good.”

“You really hung out with the wrong sort of chivalrous warrior before hooking up with me, Fai,” noted Meliadus.

“Oh, like you were better!” snapped Faileuba. “Remember the Charrette brothers? Those guys betrayed you BEFORE Grummor Grummorson and Villiars the Valiant betrayed me!”

“But we’d been traveling with each other longer!” said Meliadus.

“Someday I’m going to hear the entire story of how you two joined forces,” said Gwydd. “And I suspect that I will be horrified.”

“Ehh, it’s not that interesting,” said Faileuba. “Typical tale of triple crosses for remarkably small sums of money.”

Melidaus nodded. “Yep. Pretty much. And it ends with a bunch of dead guys.”

“Do any of the stories of your previous partnership NOT end with a bunch of dead guys?” asked Gwydd.

The pair thought it over. “I’m sure I can think of one that doesn’t,” said Faileuba. “If you give me time.”

“The one with the frog!” said Meliadus suddenly.

“An entire inn blew up!” snapped Faileuba.

“With very few fatalities!” noted Meliadus.

“Oh, you’re impossible!” said Faileuba, crossing her arms. “I should probably just give up trying to get you to accept the job!”

“You’re still trying?” said Meliadus, scratching his head. “Because I was pretty much onboard with that when you mentioned the dancing again.”

Faileuba stared at him in exasperation. “Well, you could have told me,” she muttered.

“I would have, but this whole talk got interesting,” answered Meliadus.

“Sometimes, I have a hard time believing you two can kill people with your bare hands,” said Gwydd quietly.

“But we can,” noted Faileuba.

“Right,” said Meliadus. “That’s where a lot of the dead people in our stories come from.”

“That, and the explosions,” added Faileuba.

Meliadus nodded. “Yeah, those also do a number on folks.”

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