Elaine watched the hussars wheeling about on the field before her, the great, spectacularly useless wings on their backs waving slightly in the wind. They rode their horses with dedication and skill, so much that you wanted to just ignore the wings on their back. But you really couldn’t.
“They look like giant chickens,” said Faileuba.
Meliadus nodded. “On horseback,” he added. “Can’t forget that.”
Elaine sighed. “You know I don’t know why the Mongranes think I need bodyguards. Much less you two.”
“Well, you’re fairly important, and a princess, whose parents have lots of enemies…” began Meliadus.
“You fool!” snapped Faileuba. “She just insulted our warrior’s prowess!”
Meliadus blinked several times, then nodded. “Huh. Well, what do you know? You’re right. She did!”
Faileuba glared at Elaine, something that Elaine couldn’t help but find oddly comical, as she stood a head higher than the rather short Erl. “You should realize that we aren’t people to insult lightly! Holdfast and I have been dubbed ‘living weapons’! We can level armies! Destroy mountains! Really mess stuff up!”
Elaine nodded. “Right. So, if you two are so incredibly powerful, how is it you’re routinely broke?”
“Well, there’s more to making a living as a chivalrous warrior than being able to kill people with your little finger,” said Faileuba with a cough. “The killing people part--we’re excellent at! The rest…” She gave a slight wave of her hand. “Not so much.”
“I once bought a plot of land that I later discovered was under the sea,” said Meliadus.
“And then there was that big payoff you got that I won off you in a bet,” noted Faileuba.
Elaine blinked. “What did you do with that money?”
“Lost it all in another bet,” Faileuba answered. “So, see--we are crap with money.” She clapped her hands together. “But real good at violence.”
Elaine sighed. “You know that Goblin who hangs out with you two has a very hard life…”
Meliadus stroked his chin. “That’s weird. He says the exact same thing all the time…”